Hello my well educated readers. Im sure you all know who i am but just to clarify for those who have lived under a rock for their whole life, my name is John Taylor! After much debate and speculation i have finally conformed to my friends and have decided to start this blog about my deepest feelings for the whole world to know. (That was for you Bryson) But serious i think a blog is a good way to express my ideas and allow others to learn either what im learning or from my mistakes.
So this first post im going to write mainly about my testimony of coming to know the greatest Man who ever lived/living! I grew up in a very loving house hold. My parents werent church goer, but they taught me morals and put a great great emphasis on honesty and doing the right thing. Every weekend was meant for fun, staying up late on friday and saturday doing what every young boy does, playing halo on original xbox, having vicious nerf gun wars, and my dad telling my friends and i "scary stories", that now when i think back they were probably as scary as those cheesy syfy movies. Anyway my point is i never went to church.
Ever since i was a kid ive had a horrible problem with anger. When one thing went differently than i had planned id get fired up and couldnt calm down. I use to think that being a man meant that you had to be tough too and show no emotion. Now im a emotion guy so this didnt help, but one thing i didnt show was love to my parents. I would never tell my parents or my sister that i loved them, except for on days like Christmas and stuff like that. Can you believe that? Thats probably one of the reasons i became so depressed. I felt alone and that know one even loved me! I distinctly remember one day riding in the car, i dont know to where, but i remember thinking "Why am i even alive? Do i have a purpose in life?"
Well years past and i entered high school as a freshman with one goal in mind, be in the "popular" crowd. However half way though the year my great friend Reece Templeton invited me to his church for a sunday service. I had never been against church, i just didnt know anything about it really, so i decided to go with. And what i experiences was insane! There was just this joy that i had hardly ever seen before and people were always smiling and men were giving each other bro hugs and the pastor was telling everyone that he loved them. I was shocked. But it was what i saw that kept bringing me back.
I joined the youth group a few weeks later and got to know some of the kids pretty well. It was awesome cause many of them just seemed so happy and i could tell they were glad i was there. Awhile pasted and during every service i went to i felt this tug and this pressure on my heart as i heard about this Man who lived a perfect life and died because He LOVED us all so much. During the middle of my freshman year i was in a testimony service and a boy named Bryan Wallace said that when he accepted Christ it felt like he threw a monkey off his back. And i felt uber convicted and when the invitation came i knew i needed to move, but i didnt. When i got home that night i decided to say the sinners prayer, but it meant absolutely nothing.
So there i was a "Christian" trying to live this fake life, even though i honestly thought it was really. That came to a sudden change however. Nearing the end of my sophomore year that very same boy, Bryan Wallace, passed away without warning. My youth group was stunned. This seemingly perfectly healthy boy just collapsed and died out of know where. This was a wake up call for our youth, and most defiantly for me. On June 2, 2010, a few weeks after Brian's death, i was once again deeply convicted about my salvation. That wednesday night i did the regular routine of going to church, but i decided i would talk to my small group leader, Tim Shepard, about how i was feeling. That night we were going through Gospel Journey Mawi (or however you spell it) and the topic that night was "What happens to us when we die", defiantly not a coincidence. Well during our small group time Tim was talking to us about the lesson and for no reason turned directly to me and asked "where you going when you die" (At this time he believed me to be saved). I looked at him for what seemed like an hour, but which was only like 5 secs and said "Heaven.....i think." He asked if i wanted to talk to someone so he sent me with Michael Lacobee, another youth leader, and i spilled out my heart to him about how i thought i had changed but that everything i did for God was just routine and to please others and how i didnt feel like i really ever surrendered my life to Christ. I honestly couldnt tell you all of what he told me haha but i knew in my heart i wasnt saved so when he lead me though the sinners prayer this time i meant it with my heart and told God that i would trust Him with everything i had! And at that time i felt the monkey leave my back.
Since that day ive had my ups and downs and ill probably be writing about those. But i have learned to love because God loved me first. It takes a true man to tell someone that he loves them and i tell my family all the time that i love them and thank God for them. Never underestimate the power of love and defiantly not God' everlasting love. I know this blog was long but if your still reading i promise the rest wont be this long! I felt like i needed to give the background of what Christ has done through me in my life so far. I leave you who are reading this with this verse, "LOVE NEVER FAILS" 1 Corinthians 13:8
Love, John T.
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